Getting closer!

NOVEMBER 6TH - 12 DAYS TO GO!!

Spent today in a state of misery. Had hospital appointment and basically told there is nothing to be done, it's hopeless, piss off. Wept all the way to the car.

Decided to brave it and put on stiff upper lip for rest of day. This partially succeeded, but felt like bursting by end of it. I am so sorry. I can't begin to describe the pain.

Had best fiend round tonight - so drank copious amounts of red wine and am now feeling decidedly better. Unfortunately this happy state will be one of repentance by tomorrow morning. Spent evening chatting about holidays and looking at internet.

Nb have just signed up for myspace (will put link here when beloved tells me how) which is less than exciting.

Beloved told me that he was interested in it, having chatted to a girl in a bar (you could actually see my hackles rise as he said that). Of course, I'm sure, she was very nice. It's just that I feel quite distanced from him and I think he is so gorgeous that ALL women must surely fall in love with him straight away.

I'm not sure he if would be bothered if I mentioned the blokes I've chatted to (though not drinking in a bar, it has to be said). I suppose it's all about trust. I trust him absolutely and totally, but I would still be angry if someone tried to chat him up. Not with him, but with the audacity of that someone. I guess that's still allowed - it seems fair. I suspect he feels the same. I have such fond and wonderful memories of Kat beating up (or trying to) some poor Italian who thought that I was fair game (or possibly on the game - it was a very short skirt). No one has EVER fought for me, before or since, and (although I was absolutely terrified he would be hurt at the time) I have never felt so loved or cared for.

So back to myspace. Asked kids if they had a myspace and they all said no because it's shit. Youngest daughter did then sign up for it, but I don't suppose she will ever use it again. SODIL said that she was signed up on something similar but better and then spent an hour trying to persuade me to join up. Myspace was quite enough thank you.