HE'S BACK!

Well, I was doing the washing up, sporting my sexy yellow rubber gloves and I felt the tap on my shoulder - no, not the sink tap.

So, a gentle tap and a sexy "hi" and I turned round and there he was. Four weeks of not seeing him and there he was. Oddly, he appears to have grown taller (or maybe I shrunk), but he is still sweet, kind, fantastically handsome and a God in bed, so it's definitely my Kat.

In two weeks time we are off to South Africa for a four week holiday with Jas.

Aren't I the lucky one?

Woo Yay! It's Done!!!

Thursday 16th November - 3 days to go!

Today has been a really hard one.

It started pretty badly. Got up and staggered down to computer (like I usually do). No sooner had I sat in the chair when all the lights went out, the elec went off and then all came back on again. And with its return Kat's computer started SCREEEEEEEAMMMMMMING.

The noise was deafening. So I panicked and tried to contact Kat. He was out of reach, so I switched it all off at the wall. God knows what was wrong, but I suspect the poor soul will spend most of Sunday night and Monday trying to sort it out.

Me, I spent today sorting out the shed. To start with all the panels needed finishing and then all the roof in the smaller room needed insulated with polystyrene and then hardboard - that was hard work. Claire was a great help.

Once we'd done that, we needed to clean everything before we could start painting.

Had a spot of lunch and then started the mammoth task. It took 10 litres of magnolia (that's a lot of paint) and nearly 3 coats. Claire and I started at 4 and I finished at 10.30pm. But it's done. Now all we need to do is sort out the rails and bring down the costumes. Ha bloody ha.

Friends, Lovers and Chocolate

13th November - OH MY GOD - ONLY 5 DAYS TO GO!!!

I have just finished the latest Isabel Dalhousie book - titled as above - they are so well written! I love her character (not least because she is of a similar age to me) but I equally despise it, because she won't act upon her love for Jamie (15 years her junior - ring any bells?). To be fair, I think Jamie only sees her as a close friend..but I live in hope that this friendship will develop into something greater. Why shouldn't I want everyone to be as happy as me?

FRIENDS

So my dear friends, Bruce and Trev, invited me for dinner on Saturday. How nice to have friends to look after you when you need it. The meal was brilliant (Trev is an excellent cook) with lasagne and Florida Lime Pie - the latter being gorgeous, but looking a lot like all the "pies" thrown on tv!

Of course, the evening started off with red wine. Then we hit the gin - yes, that is the amount of gin (BEFORE TONIC) in each glass. The meal would not be right without a decent port passed to the left and had to be finished with a nice cuppa South African tea. All of which meant I got substantially merry and managed to text Kat a drunken I love you, without remembering it the next day.
A while ago I gave Nim (one of our kittens) to B & T as she was not fitting in with our busy houshold and needed some individual tlc. Turned out she'd been getting more than her share of tlc from the local Toms - but that's another story. They always make out that she's this friendly little pussy and butter wouldn't melt...please see family shot. However, I would like to draw your attention to a more insightful photograph, capturing the evil one's true nature...
We obviously had to play a few games. Sadly, the Pictionary Clinic could not open due to a lack of partner, so we played Rummicub and Verbositi - both of which were great fun. I seem to recall that I won both, but this may just be the happy drunk talking. We came up with some classic phrases, but Trev's "Blind Cinderella's ejaculating yetis' incest tortured her," must surely win the day. I can't wait to play them with Kat - I know he would really like them.

Not sure when we got out the underwear - these lovely items appear to belong to Bruce, who refused to model them! Trev told me the black zipped ones were never worn as they are for a medium sized gentleman...so I took them for my medium sized gentleman (nb we are not talking meat and two veg - that would need to be XXL!)



So a good night had by all - but the sight that met us on the table next morning was a little alarming and certainly open to misinterpretation!!!



LOVERS

So we only have a few more days apart.

It's been a struggle, particularly at the start when I seriously wondered if I would cope at all. I am sure Kat misses me, but he is in a new and exciting place with many interesting distractions. I found that as the weeks went on it got easier and, weirdly, I now feel like I did before I met him, but not a day goes by that I don't think of him and wish him here.

My saviour came in the form of a skype phone, which allows us to talk nearly every day and better than this, lets me see him too.

CHOCOLATE

I've asked best beloved to bring me back some American sweeties - or candy, as they like to refer to it.

You can actually buy all these on a British website for just under £23 (+ P&P), so I am hoping these will be substantially cheaper in the US of A. Sound good, don't they?

Here is my list!

1 pack of Reese's Cups
(Milk chocolate with a peanut centre)

1 bar of Hersheys Milk Chocolate
(Creamy, rich tasting Hershey milk chocolate)

1 pack of Hersheys Milk Duds 141g
(Caramel nuggets covered in a generous helping of Hershey milk chocolate)

1 pack of Hot Tamales
(Chewy cinnamon flavoured jelly beans)

1 bar of Hersheys Mr Goodbar
(Delicious creamy Hersheys milk chocolate with peanuts)

1 bar of Hersheys Milk Chocolate: Cookies 'n' Chocolate
(Lots of dark chocolate cookie pieces in every bite of Hershey milk chocolate)

1 bar of 3 Musketeers
(Smooth chocolate with a fluffy nougat centre. Similar to how a Milky Way used to be)

1 bar of Hersheys Whatchamacallit
(Similar to a Toffee Crisp but with peanut butter and subtle toffee caramel)

1 Hersheys kisses Bar
(Smooth creamy Hershey milk chocolate with chocolate cookie pieces)

1 bar of Hersheys S'mores
(A marshmallow and graham cracker centre smothered in Hersheys Milk Chocolate)

1 pack of Atomic Fireblast Candy
(Rich cinnamon flavour sugar candy)

Wasting away

7th November - 11 days to go!

Have just got off the scales. I am horrified. I've lost half a stone. I knew I wasn't interested in food and that I was looking really gaunt, but this is really bad. If I don't do something I will have lost a stone by the time Kat gets back.

Am currently chomping my way through a Christmas family box of maltesers.

On a lighter note (ha!) I have finally mastered the wretched myspace layouts. I'm not really happy with the one I have, but I know Kat will be able to adjust the html so that it looks better.

Getting closer!

NOVEMBER 6TH - 12 DAYS TO GO!!

Spent today in a state of misery. Had hospital appointment and basically told there is nothing to be done, it's hopeless, piss off. Wept all the way to the car.

Decided to brave it and put on stiff upper lip for rest of day. This partially succeeded, but felt like bursting by end of it. I am so sorry. I can't begin to describe the pain.

Had best fiend round tonight - so drank copious amounts of red wine and am now feeling decidedly better. Unfortunately this happy state will be one of repentance by tomorrow morning. Spent evening chatting about holidays and looking at internet.

Nb have just signed up for myspace (will put link here when beloved tells me how) which is less than exciting.

Beloved told me that he was interested in it, having chatted to a girl in a bar (you could actually see my hackles rise as he said that). Of course, I'm sure, she was very nice. It's just that I feel quite distanced from him and I think he is so gorgeous that ALL women must surely fall in love with him straight away.

I'm not sure he if would be bothered if I mentioned the blokes I've chatted to (though not drinking in a bar, it has to be said). I suppose it's all about trust. I trust him absolutely and totally, but I would still be angry if someone tried to chat him up. Not with him, but with the audacity of that someone. I guess that's still allowed - it seems fair. I suspect he feels the same. I have such fond and wonderful memories of Kat beating up (or trying to) some poor Italian who thought that I was fair game (or possibly on the game - it was a very short skirt). No one has EVER fought for me, before or since, and (although I was absolutely terrified he would be hurt at the time) I have never felt so loved or cared for.

So back to myspace. Asked kids if they had a myspace and they all said no because it's shit. Youngest daughter did then sign up for it, but I don't suppose she will ever use it again. SODIL said that she was signed up on something similar but better and then spent an hour trying to persuade me to join up. Myspace was quite enough thank you.

How cool is this?

Old friend Gwyneth sent me this and it's wonderful - took a few seconds to work it out though!

The dark camels are shadows - the photo was taken from above - the little white line/shape below them is the actual camel.

And tonight's televisual treats were..

Tonight we mostly watched..




Torchwood

The scripts are getting better. I'm not sure the characterisation is improving and I am still in mourning for the wonderful persona of Dr Who's Captain Jack - where did our frivolous, devil may care, swash buckling hero go?

Tonight's episode was still full of flaws. If a cybergirl was heading toward me with an intent to kill and I'm holding a gun and I can see the cybergirl has got a big fleshy belly and a pretty face with "target" written all over it, I might just aim for that. I know that one of the team eventually stuck a pointy sticky thing into said cybergirl and it survived, but a well aimed bullet might have sorted it out from the start.

And how the hell did it ever manage to transfer its brain from one body to another all by itself? I mean, HOW?

And why, oh why did the ubercybergirl have heels, and Madonna breasts, and a shapely arse? Would these have been useful in cyberland? Were they intending to make lots of little cyber babies? And if they did, would they need a can opener to deliver them?

And - oh, what's the use?

The Welsh tart's boyfriend is still alive - but his days must surely be numbered. Although, having said that, he does act as a nice foil to her relationship with Jack. And none of us want Jack to get off with her - we need him to remain aloof, alone and AVAILABLE.

Celebrity Scissorhands


So here we have yet another celebrity based reality tv show. This time it's a salon academy, with the many celebs (not) learning the necessary skills to groom somebody in time for Children In Need.

Ah. This could explain why I actually have heard of at least 4 of the celebrities - 2 of whom are one hit wonders (Fade to Grey and I'm too sexy for my blouse) and 2 actors who have faded to grey themselves.

The presenter is in desperate need of a square meal and appears to have stolen Pete Dougherty's 2005 wardrobe. Spooky. Actually, on second thoughts I can see a tiny Russell Bland trying to squeeze out of those skin tight jeans.

It is clearly based on the previous (and only slightly less awful) series, The Salon. Maybe it's just me, but I find it extraordinarily insulting to all beauticians/hairdressers - in that the premise of learning all the skills necessary to prepare the hair/makeup of guests of Children In Need in TWO WEEKS, suggests that it ain't that difficult to learn. I sincerely hope that someone in the business points this out. Nickie Clarke should tong the lot of them (hmmmmm...but only if I can watch).

One has to ask how far can these programmes go. If the professions are now at the mercy of celebrity, it's only a short walk to open heart surgery performed by Abi Titmouse or the constantly revolting John McCriririck taking cervical smears.

I did find it strangely fascinating to watch the poor Lisa left to the mercy of the trembling (q. for what reason? nervousness? lack of alcohol/drugs?) Steve Strangler. At what point would she tell him to piss off? How much does she understand of the set up? Has she heard of New Romanticism? The questions just pile up. And yet still he cuts. Her sweet face looks in the mirror in anguish. I can hardly bear to look.

All real characters mentioned are entirely fictional and a part of my sick imagination

Bonfire Night

We had a very nice bonfire night. Went round to my parents and had a lovely firework display, followed by the usual excellent food. I took along my lemon roulade and Trev made a pavlova. Guests were somewhat restricted this year, as dad is obviously not well and no one wanted the evening to go on too long.




Adrian and Pam had made a guy, which was a nice touch.





Reminded me of my childhood, when so much of the evening's fun was down to making the guy. I seem to recall that at one time it was just me who made it, but then as sibling rivalry took hold, my brother made one too. I also remember the absolute terror of the jumping jack - it made me extremely scared of fireworks altogether. One of my earliest memories dates from Purbrook (so I must have been under 7) and standing crying in the doorway, being shouted at by my mother, because I didn't want to go and see the fireworks at the bottom of the garden!











After the party Bruce and Trev came back to ours for a game of Trivial Pursuit, which went on till 3am - at which point James and Bruce declared themselves the winners! So we all trundled down to the shed to see what a mess I've made of it ..not really.

Katwoman!

4th November - only 14 days to go!!!!!

This is just a funny thing I spotted when chatting with my beloved on Skype. He appears to have the body of a woman - well, it's actually Gaiman's Coraline on my desk top (I adore that man - almost as much as Dave Mckean) (but not nearly as much as Kat).

Happy Halloween

This was a quiet Halloween. Jasmine went trick or treating - but not before she gave away practically all the sweets I'd got for our visiting trick or treaters.

The tv has died again - myth front end has frozen and so we can't watch any tv. Tom tried to fix it but can't. Looks like it's going to stay that way till Kat comes home. Great. I still have the little tv in the study, so I can watch in there. It could be worse.

Spent day sorting out stuff. Phoned Dave and he said if the £100 wasn't enough, how much would be? Am sure I can get more for these things on ebay, but the doors and wood will be more useful to us in other ways.

Kat is going out to get blasted on Jack Daniels tonight - funny to think it's only lunchtime in Seattle and he has all Halloween evening to look forward to - in America too. He's very lucky.

Halloween Cat

30th October - 19 days to go!!




Jasmine is getting excited about Halloween. I bought her a pumpkin kit and she has carved it with the traditional wolf (the only time of year her obsession makes sense).

Ref photos to see that I actually share our house with a 2 insane people.



Poppy is becoming increasingly naughty - most of the time she is at the taps in the kitchen sink or on top of the fridge. You now take your life in your hands every time you go to get the dinner ready - avoiding large blunt objects that arbitrarily fly from the top of the fridge

Red red red

29th October - 20 days to go!!

So I thought it would be a good idea to colour my hair - the red had turned to a bland orange. Little did I realise that the stupid dye was a really stoopid dye. It went bloody everywhere. My ears, neck and jaw were red - the sink and bath went (and still are) red - the downstairs sink went red and the chopping board is now red. The kitchen and bathroom look like recent scenes from A Chainsaw Massacre and I closely resemble one of the victims. It took hours to get the stuff off my skin and a whole bottle of cleanser.

I got Claire to take a picture - sorry it's so cheesy, but beggars can't be choosers.

Here is the result. I think it was worth it!

Had nice long chat with best beloved (it's now 1.30am) and am off to bed. Halloween round the corner! Beloved off to party the night away, but I am stuck at home ferrying childs. Seems wrong somehow. Oh well. Could go out with Claire to Bournemouth - but I'm sure everyone would think I'm in some old witch's costume. Probably ask me to take my mask off cos it's frightening them. I wish I was beautiful - oh dear..am beginning to feel sorry for myself again. Time for bed, said Zebedee. How the hell did he get in here?

The shed continues....

26th October - 23 DAYS TO GO!

This is great, the first week is nearly out of the way and that was always going to be the most difficult. Life without him is lonely, but I'm getting on with it now and don't miss him nearly so much. Thank goodness. Funnily enough, I think this has a lot to do with chatting each day (on video cam too), it means a lot to me.

And on with the shed. Mum and I worked out how to put up the next set of panels, but she had to go early, so I got on with it. She did assume this was impossible and I must admit it wasn't easy balancing these huge pieces of hardboard across 2 pathetically small workmates (benches that is, not humans). So I kind of adopt a mad position holding the hardboard between my legs and using the jigsaw very gingerly. Actually, that's not really true. I didn't use the jigsaw gingerly, I bloody well went for it!!! It's quite exhilerating, hacking insanely through giant wobble boards. I can see why Kat loves his chainsaw so much.

So here is the result so far - I've done most of 2 walls. Every board needed downsizing and most of them needed bits cut out, which is the tricky bit. If they aren't quite right, fitting wise, I had to hack at them with the stanley knife - and it's really difficult cutting through hardboard.

Oh well. Tomorrow is teaching in the morning, then shed in the afternoon!

I think I will paint all the walls once they are done.

I think I'm drowning, asphyxiated -

Well, I don't know if my time is running out (I hope not) but last night it certainly felt like it.

I should explain. I often suddenly wake, at any time of the night, unable to breathe. I usually feel that I am dying and if I don't breathe within seconds I will be dead. The problem is that I have forgotten how to and it's almost impossible to will your ribcage open to make your lungs fill up.

It's a terrible and extremely upsetting thing. I usually grab Kat or bury myself into him, into his reality. And somehow I can breathe again.

Last night was awful. I woke with a bad attack and had nothing to help me. I started wildly grabbing at anything I could find and found myself silently screaming "Oh God won't someone help me!" In my desperation I managed to knock everything off the bedside table - the cd player, light, teddy bears, books, water - all went flying. I was so sure that this time I was going to die. I could see myself dead in the morning and the kids having to tell Kat.

When I finally got that gasp of air into my lungs, I lay there panting and thinking I never want to sleep again.

The rest of the night was just spent intermittently dozing and having weird nightmares.

So I went to the doctor. I hoped that he might at least give me some possible explanations, but he was useless. Told me he had no idea what it was, but it was probably some sort of mental illness (he told me not to get upset at that). I said I clearly am unhappy now and very lonely, but I was not depressed in the medical sense. None the less, he prescribed some happy pills and told me to take them immediately. He said they may cause insomnia and I shouldn't really drive when taking them (for the next 4 weeks). I looked them up on the internet and realised that these were tablets that I would not be taking now or indeed, ever.

So now I'm really looking forward to going to bed tonight.

It's strange

It's strange. It's 10.30 at night. I'm in a house full of people. I can hear sounds of laughter everywhere. And yet I've never been so lonely in all my life.

Three Steps to Heaven

Monday 23rd October - 26 DAYS TO GO

So today was terribly exciting. Ok, that's totally untrue.

Woke up early to get to Post Office before work. Beloved managed to go to the States without an adaptor for any of the twenty electrical items he took with him. I refrain from any further comment. So I got the 2 plugs we already possessed, packed them nicely with a love letter and hurried off to the main Post Office, with daughter - its' half term. I was delighted to see that I was in a queue of over 10 pensioners. Which begs the question why do ladies of a certain age adopt the woolly hat? It's not that cold, and God knows they are no fashion statement. But there they were - this sea of angora knitwear, spreading in front of me for all eternity. I waited. And waited. And waited. As the last wibbly wobbly made for the till, I breathed a sigh of relief. The postperson was very helpful and said my parcel should get to Beloved before the end of the week - providing I pay £7.50. Which I did. Cos I'm nice. And cos it will mean we can chat and stuff.

Teaching was fine. The work is looking very good and will make a nice display.

So charged off to the Bournemouth hospital to get my blood tests done. Have important appointment with Head of Whatever in 2 weeks time and have just discovered that the blood tests have to be done AT LEAST 2 weeks in advance. Oops. Hence the insanity today. Arrive at clinic and discover waiting time is only 85 minutes. Hang on. ONE HOUR AND TWENTY FIVE MINUTES??? I commented to the nice receptionist that this seemed a longish time to wait. And she said Poole would be 2 weeks, so it's down to you - 85 minutes or 2 weeks? Her sarcasm was lost on me. I sourly replied that I always got straight in when I went to Poole and handed over my paperwork. I suggest you go and get a drink she said. My mind immediately was sitting in a pub, with a pint of Guinness. Well, I was going to lose a lot of iron in those 2 small phials of blood - it's more than an armful! Of course, she meant tea. So went back to car, got daughter, had lunch, bought magazines, meandered slowly back and got called in after 5 minutes. Perfect timing.

The Step




So yesterday I managed to persuade my hulking great son and his diminutive girlfriend (now brunette) to move the slabs of concrete, to make a lovely step to our chalet shed thingy. After many tantrums (so reminiscent of his dear father) the steps were done. Today, went out with my mum to get some gravel (our chalet was becoming a walk in mudbath) and some wood for the next stage of panelling. Tom, my skinny great son, put down the gravel - for a price!

Tom
Tom's friend Ali has arrived and so now our household is back to 6 people..oh goody. At least it will stop me constantly getting out that extra plate and having to put it away again, with a lump in my throat.

The shed saga continues

Saturday 21st Oct - 28 days to go!

Nb this is a very trivial blog, designed to allow beloved in America a chance to see how my bland little life is developing while without him.

Beloved has been gone less than 48 hours and I've finally stopped crying! Things are looking up.

Kat was very concerned about my working with a nail gun - so here's a picture of me juggling stanley knives.



I GOT A SILVER MACHINE
It was good to get a text at 1.30 am to let me know he was safe - I couldn't have slept without knowing. But I was woken 6 hours later by the arrival of the new washing machine - they were passing and would I like it now (at 7.30am) rather than 10 hours later? So I dragged my weary body out of bed into the half light (or should that be half life?) and we are now the proud owners of a wonderful washing machine that works...oh, and doesn't smell! I have obviously spent the day piling more and more into said silver square. It has not objected too much, so far.

I BEEN SKYPED
I suppose it was a good idea. Kat and I can talk to each other for free. I've no idea how it works, but it does. Well, it did. I figured that gorgeous kreecher stuck in Seattle would be awake early and so I pressed the button that said "Skype me". It had a smiley face, so it looked nice and friendly. A few minutes later, I notice I've missed a call from some foreign stranger. And then another man is chatting to me, telling me how beautiful I am in my photograph. I say thank you and please go away. Then the phone rings. Not the weirdo in chat I pray. No worse. A Frenchman. Who doesn't speak English. Non parlez Francais! I shout down the phone in a bizarre mixture of Italiano Franco (I was under pressure). Eventually, I put the phone down on him - to the hysterics of my now disinherited children. Who are all these men? What have I done? And the little smiley face grins back at me. He knows. And suddenly so do I. I remove evil yellow clown smiley face. A little while later my beloved is awake and online. Yay! We talk with a weird 2 second gap - so we constantly interrupt each other and then stop abruptly because we hear the other one talking, in a dreadful and incessant loop. Chatting via skype or messenger might be easier, but it was still good to hear his voice. And he still loves me, so my darkest fears aren't realised then. Well, not yet anyway.

THE SHED

Now feeling refreshed and happier, I decide it's time to begin the shed. Me muvver turns up and we make a start. It was hard work, but not as bad as I thought it would be. The knife cut into the polystyrene like butter. My mum's measuring left a little to be desired, but kept us amused.

Later, Tom came out to help me finish off and it was a joy to work with him. Here's a shot of me throwing stanley knives at him and one of him dancing his way out of trouble....

































The first part of the insulation is done. Sadly, I was hoping to go to an art event tonight and do a spot of being artistic thingy, but when I start something I just have to finish it. Tomorrow will be trickier - we have to cut up the hardboard with a jigsaw and something called a workmate or bench or big blue thing stuck by the shed.

Tune in for the next post straight from Poole General Hospital.

My paranormal dreams

Oh yuch. This is so difficult. How do you sort out ways to cope with a partner off on business abroad for a month? Strangely, I think I've been in the mindset for at least a week; constantly assessing how I will feel when he is gone. And now he has. Today. He's in the air as I type.

So a couple of weeks ago, I had a dream. I dreamed that Kat got sent to the States on business, that I got very upset about it and that the place he stayed was a tall large white square building. I told Kat. He remained as impressed and excited as he always does when I tell him my dreams - he's very tolerant, bless him. 3 days later he comes home and tells me work is sending him to America in 2 weeks. For a month. I got upset. I go quiet when I get upset, so it's not so bad. The next day I got over it and remembered the dream. Weird - a real coincidence. Later, I saw a photo of the building he's staying in and yes, it was tall, large, square and white. I was really spooked then.

The last weeks have been tricky, so much to organise. We will only have a fortnight when Kat returns before we are off on our holiday of a lifetime(to South Africa). Which meant I had to work really hard to get everything organised and confirmed, while Kat was still around to agree to it! It's all done, more or less.

To conclude, the prophetic dreams are becoming more frequent. But apart from the Kat one, they seem to have no purpose. They usually are things that I see the following day or 2 on tv. Like a house developed for forensics - I saw that the day before, with dancing policemen. And yes, I have considered that I see it subconsciously and then dream it, but somehow I don't think so.

Bournemouth Adult Learning - BAL for short

This is something that breaks my heart and has made me quite ill - but it must be said. Bournemouth Adult Learning are a bunch of ***** (please fill in your own expletive, it can't be worse than mine). After a very successful set of AS level marks (3 As, 2 Bs, 1 C), which were won in spite of my sticking to the rules and the other AS tutor making them up, I find that I am without an A2 course and my students have nowhere to go.

I was informed by the College that my course was to be cancelled due to low numbers . Cancelled? But what about Abi Kremer's identical course? She had the same number of students on hers. Oh well, they say, her course is more cost effective. So that's the reason that 3 of my brilliant students are now without a course... it's not cost effective. I explained that if the college had the courtesy to discuss this with me I might have persuaded them to move centrally (even cheaper than Abi's course - ooh wow), but they weren't interested.

So I resigned.

The resignation was not just as a result of their incredible stupidity, but also as a reaction to their continued rejection of all pensioners.

They prattle on and on about EQUALITY AND DIVERSITY, but if you're over 60, screw you. They've taken away all your concessions ...sorry, you can still get them if you are a blind lone parent black lesbian earning less than 12p a week...or better still, YOU'RE A MUSLIM OR IMMIGRANT.

Oh yeah and they've made all the courses accredited - so you now have to take exams.

And how many pensioners want to take exams? They just want to do a bit of painting and drawing, with help from a nice tutor in a nice friendly atmosphere.

But that's not what Adult Ed is all about now. Oh no. It's all lesson plans, schemes of work, course/learner/tutor evalutions/assessments that go on for ever and ever. The latest is RARPA - where the learner (we don't call them students any more) has to evaluate how much they've learned and when they learned it. AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON HEALTH AND BLOODY SAFETY!!! When will people EVER learn to take responsibility for themselves again? I had to fill a full report to take my students 5 minutes down the road to the library for God's sake AND I had to seriously consider their a) getting knocked down by a bus (we have dangerous buses in Bournemouth) b) a terrorist attack c) bookcases falling down on top of them d)them falling down the stairs e) the lift plumetting them all to their squishy deaths. And so on. I should have added...e) alien abduction f) falling through the space/time continuum and g)meeting Tom Cruise, converting to Scientology and therefore missing the library exhibition.

I was being buried in a mountain of useless, pointless paperwork, which only served to indulge the ever increasing admin staff. And yes, they now had it on paper that I was doing the exact right thing, down to the minute - but hey! I could have made it up -and, here's a thought, maybe (just maybe) the other tutors did too - particularly the crap ones. God help us. The nanny state has taken over and taken away all the decent tutors and replaced them with lying automatons, who go through the motions to no ones benefit.